Lizzy's Emo Corner

Cruelty and the Beast

范嘉慧 — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 08:46:13 +0000

the character chart is finally done! Mwa. It took a long time -_- cause I kept redoing it all over cause I was picky so now I’m REALLY proud of it. And I’m posting it here in case my computer crashes and in case I’ll never see it again.

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/3397/crueltyandthebeastccgw4.png

…

范嘉慧 — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:59:29 +0000

Friendship is like peeing in your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.

47

范嘉慧 — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 03:11:47 +0000

I couldn’t bring myself to face him…

To say I wish I didn’t even ask…

Would be the truth but if I didn’t ask–would I even feel better?

“Now you know why I can only think of her…” he said with a small smile.

I couldn’t even force myself to smile at the moment.

It was like there was a heavy burden…

Like I had a heavy burden.

And it was smug fit in the center of my chest…called a heart.

“Do you want to help me now? Do you really want to help me?”

I looked up and matched eyes with him.

But only for a split second fore I feared if I stared into those eyes too long…

I’d see the love…the love that isn’t for me.

I force out laughter from my lips to compensate for the silence.

But it sounded so wooden and awkward because of the laugh being too loud and prolonged.

“Su Yun.” Her voice had gotten stern.

His hand shakily reached over and clasped onto mine.

I…

“Please help me…”

Really…

“Setting thoughts of Sae Hoon hyung aside…”

Like…

“I’m begging you…as a friend. I really like–”

You…

“Kek. Friends…are we friends?” I tested word over and over as if it was foreign.

“Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. We’re FRIENDS. Yoon Jae Hoon and Han Su Yun are FRIENDS.”

Is this the moment where I break into a smile or cry?

I turned to Jae Hoon who simply smiled.

“You’re my first girlfriend and you’re my first friend.” He gave my hand a tight squeeze.

…

Hoo…I can’t even get a moment of rest…

How can I? How can I relax when my heart is aching?

I lay awake in bed…

Feeling so empty like a broken doll.

And now I realize I’m in a pathetic situation.

Reading all those novels, watching all those dramas, making fun of those silly heroines…I’m in no position.

I’m in their position.

I think I’m going crazy as well…

I hear sounds…as if rocks were being thrown against my window.

It was only until there was a loud crack as a rock flew into my room that I realized…

Some bastard was throwing rocks at my window!! =_=

“Shit!!” The person cursed loudly, stomping their foot down on the pavement of our driveway noisily.

I climbed out of bed and peeked through the curtains…

“Han Su Yun!”

I rubbed my eyes when I heard his voice…

What the hell was going on…? Was I dreaming?

“I threw so many rocks! Are you a strong sleeper or what?”

Seeing him, dark feelings arose from the pit of my stomach.

“It’s f-cking cold out here…”

My voice was struggling to break free in my throat.

“Do…do you want to come in, Young Jun?” I surprised myself as I heard my soft and calm voice.

“Hell yeah!” He piped, hurrying over to my front porch.

…

I wanted to yell at him for hurting Jae Hoon…

But how could I?

Young Jun was a human too…

He wasn’t bad or good.

Just like the world wasn’t divided into right or wrong…

“Wasn’t your boyfriend handsome out there today? ^-^” His low chuckle filled the kitchen…

After drinking hot cocoa, Young Jun’s vioce turned husky.

“Young Jun–”

“Aren’t you proud of your boyfriend?” He questioned again.

And I thought to myself…

Did he refer to himself or Jae Hoon?

The fight was brutal…

I wish I didn’t see it but then again…

Would it be better or not?

“Let’s break up.” I said flatly.

Young Jun closed his eyes but he didn’t look surprised at all.

“This relationship only lasted a few days…”

“But it doesn’t matter, right? I’m not the one you like…” I sat quietly…

And Young Jun’s eyes snapped open in alarm.

“I know everything,” I stated briskly.

His hand reached over and touched mine awkwardly.

“I’m sorry. I really respect you as a person. Not once did I ever think of you as just something to get back at Jae Hoon…” his tone showed that he was sincerely apologetic.

“It’s okay. I thought it was a bit farfetched if you liked me…” I joked.

“Tell me something I don’t know. So many guys like you that it’s not even funny. I think I would have probably liked you as well if I didn’t have Mi Hyun nuna ^-^”

We both laughed together lightly.

I think I could learn to be friends with Young Jun if time would only lend itself to us.

“It’s cool right? We’re over and…”

“You can return to Jae Hoon…” Young Jun smiled tightly.

Watching his expression, I knew Jae Hoon and Young Jun’s relationship wouldn’t be patched soon or even easily.

But there was hope.

If you took everything away from a person’s life…

There would be one thing you couldn’t ever take.

And that was hope.

The same hope that Jae Hoon has…

The same that I have.

范嘉慧 — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 22:10:40 +0000

Ha…I feel good today.

Fuck yeah!

Lizzy – 1
Life – 0

So it was shitty at first, but my frown turned upside down. Let’s start from the beginning!!

6:30 – The alarm goes off. I smile and go ‘yay! I woke up early today.’ Then I close my eyes and snuggle into the warm blankets.

7:48 – I woke up and looked at my clock. At first…I was like, “what the fuck? How is it 7:48? =_=” I actually said that aloud and my mom who’s in the other room goes “WHAT? YOU’RE STILL HERE?!”

…

8:02 – I arrive at school, panicking that I’m late. Well lovely mercy was bestowed upon me. I rounded the corner to find my 1st period classroom locked and my classmates waiting outside. -_-v Hell yeah! I was not late.

From 1st period to 4th – I felt like shit. Everyone was perfect and I felt messed up.I was pretty moody…-o- I won’t say depressed since depression is sadness that lasts a long time. I’m just fucking moody.

Lunch – It was nice…^^ won’t say why because I’m shy ~ hahaha. But one thing I want to say is–Lake Washington High School’s sushi sucks. Do they use beaner rice or what? It’s hard and solid. Nasty tasting…I’m going to make kimbab [korean sushi] for one of my class’s projects and bring it to school–owning the nasty beaner sushi.

5th Period – Couldn’t stop smiling. And laughing to myself. People thought I was crazy. Which I am.

6th Period – >_< hella cute. It was a cute period. I’m lovefiction.

– — — — – –
Discoveries Today
– — — — – –

1. Aaron thinks I’m drug obsessed. o_oa

I swear! It’s crazy…everytime he walks by/talks to me, the subject of drugs always come up. Last friday, he wanted me to lend him a dollar and being the idiot I was, I think he was joking so I went “what do you need it for? Drugs?” and we launched into the subject of him being a drug lord and blah blah blah…

Today he walked by when I was speaking to bunny love and at that exact moment, I said “Do drugs if you want to look older and cool!”

Note: I was sarcastic ㅜ_ㅠ

There were other times we talked about drugs but I already wrote it in this journal about a year ago. No point in repeating memories.

2. Patrick is amazing.

That kid is cool O: If I had to pick a favorite 7th grader, he’d win hands down. He plays video games. He photoshops. He’s a writer like me. He can use LINUX. He’s a Jesus child!!! Haha, during lunch, it was hilarious. We went into the locker room and Patrick was in their with his 30985475375 girlfriends and he rejected the annoying one while pointing to another girl going, ‘I LIKE HER!’ It was cute.

3. I hate Science Illustration.

My worst class ever. I had a 113% overall grade in it as well…I bet it’s going to drop soon. -_- I hate that class. It made me cry.

Conclusion: Big Bang is VIP (:
And TEMPO is mine!!
Ok, fine. He’s not.
But I’ll make him mine!

Sevies. Ugh.

范嘉慧 — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 02:49:43 +0000

This sevie is almost stalking me. She’s hella annoying. She’s always staring at me -_- and when I’m talking to my friends, she walks over and pretends she’s part of us. LOL–Loser of Losers. She has issues…

She tried to grab my seat in first period and succeeded multiple tries which pissed me off. She seriously tries to acts like she’s one of my friends. She asks me to help her never saying ‘thank you’ or ‘please.’ Is that so hard to do?

And the way she stares at me creeps me out. Can I say lesbian?

Her voice is annoying. When she speaks to you, you can barely hear her. Please fucking ENOUNCIATE clearly.

-_- hate her. If she would stop being creepy and annoying, I could probably accept her but when a loser is trying to push their way into your clique, the answer is a big fat no.

I nede 4 my live.

范嘉慧 — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 00:59:01 +0000

My Boyfriend’s Sister Complex OST

范嘉慧 — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 04:00:54 +0000

01 HAN SU YUN Byul; I Love You
02 YOON JAE HOON 5tion; More than Words
03 YOON SAE HOON G-Dragon; This Love
04 KANG HYE IN J; The Saddest Words
05 HAN SEUNG HYUN Tim; What About Me
06 KANG LEE HWAN Tae Bin; So We Can Love
07 SHIN YOUNG JUN TAKE; 524 Days
08 PARK KYUNG JIN Bi; Still Believe
09 KANG HYE RIN Choi Min Kyung; Flown Away
10 HAN YUN SUNG Ilac; Sadness
11 SEO YOUNG SE Lee Soo Young; Bam Bam Heartbeat
12 HAN SUNG PRETTY 04 Baek Ji Young; Woo Ah

Give My Love

范嘉慧 — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 03:03:38 +0000

Edward Chun
Save Your Last Dance For Me – OST

When I look in your eyes I can see that you
Want to be with me but you’re so scared
And I don’t know what to say or do
But the tears keep falling from your eyes
And I know that Times won’t change my love
And I can’t do nothing to keep you

Oh, I’ll give my love
oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can’t change my love
Take my love all through the night…

As the hours pass away
You think that love ain’t here to stay
Feel a beat from your chest
But you don’t give doubt a moment’s rest
You dream the future and all you see is dark
Listen to your heart, baby,
The truth will set sparks

Now I’ll give my love oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know, that I can’t change my love
Take my love all through the night…

Now I’ll give my love oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that time won’t change my love
Take my love all through the night…

Oh, I’ll give my love
oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can’t change my love
Take my love all through the night…

Hey Tony. Gimme some cereal.

范嘉慧 — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 03:55:56 +0000

tony. says:
well lizzy
tony. says:
i’m leaving you now
Lɪzzy says:
NOO
Lɪzzy says:
but i love you
Lɪzzy says:
i can change, tony
Lɪzzy says:
:C
tony. says:
because i feel i’ve been abused by you enough
tony. says:
that’s what they all say!
Lɪzzy says:
plx dont leave me
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
i cant afford this!
tony. says:
but but
Lɪzzy says:
i only have 2 dollas left
tony. says:
my friend wants to go out
Lɪzzy says:
oh i see…
Lɪzzy says:
its another person…
Lɪzzy says:
eh?
tony. says:
it’s a guy!
tony. says:
T_T
Lɪzzy says:
thats even worse!
Lɪzzy says:
OMG
tony. says:
wtf
tony. says:
i’m not gay!
Lɪzzy says:
sure you arent
Lɪzzy says:
keep saying that tony
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
maybe one day i will believe you…
Lɪzzy says:
[cries]
tony. says:
T_T
tony. says:
it’s okay lizzy
tony. says:
you know you’re my only love~
Lɪzzy says:
you lie
Lɪzzy says:
fine
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
go on to your ‘friend’
Lɪzzy says:
perhaps we shall meet one day
Lɪzzy says:
and i will show you i have found a friend
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
thats better than you
tony. says:
T_T
tony. says:
*hurt*
Lɪzzy says:
aww
Lɪzzy says:
you need a big hug?
tony. says:
yes dear
Lɪzzy says:
okay you can go find it elsewhere
tony. says:
mean!
Lɪzzy says:
nice!
tony. says:
you’re so mean to me
tony. says:
what did i ever do to you?!
Lɪzzy says:
aww
Lɪzzy says:
its tough love
tony. says:
oh god.
Lɪzzy says:
im mean because you concern me
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
it shows i care about you
tony. says:
oh god.
tony. says:
tough love indeed
Lɪzzy says:
you r teh christian?
tony. says:
no
Lɪzzy says:
yes sir
tony. says:
no!
tony. says:
NO!
tony. says:
but my friend is
tony. says:
D:
Lɪzzy says:
oh i see
Lɪzzy says:
O:
Lɪzzy says:
your ‘friend’
Lɪzzy says:
…T__T
tony. says:
his name is josh
Lɪzzy says:
ill remember his name! D<
tony. says:
if that helps o.o
Lɪzzy says:
tell him to watch out
tony. says:
oh noes.
Lɪzzy says:
ill go to google
Lɪzzy says:
and find josh
tony. says:
lol
Lɪzzy says:
mark my words
tony. says:
that’s what i call him
tony. says:
that’s not his full name
Lɪzzy says:
oh :C
Lɪzzy says:
my hopes are crushed
Lɪzzy says:
i thank you
tony. says:
lol..
tony. says:
okay i burned a cd
Lɪzzy says:
okee
tony. says:
so i can listen to in the car
tony. says:
while driving
tony. says:
weeee
tony. says:
go speed racer go speed racer
tony. says:
go!
Lɪzzy says:
you can drive?!
tony. says:
best driving song
tony. says:

tony. says:
i mean
tony. says:
i ride a bike
Lɪzzy says:
how many tickets did you get?
tony. says:
o.o
tony. says:
wow..
tony. says:
nice thing to say after asking someone you can drive
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
XD
Lɪzzy says:
im sorry
Lɪzzy says:
tony will never ever get tickets
Lɪzzy says:
or go to jail
tony. says:
oh man
Lɪzzy says:
he’s a perfectly safe and talented driver
tony. says:
i have to think of the opposite with you
Lɪzzy says:
:C you dont have to
tony. says:
i had 2 tickets
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
WTF
Lɪzzy says:
O__O
Lɪzzy says:
and you’r not in jail?
tony. says:
i’ve been driving for hm…
tony. says:
about 2years now
tony. says:
no
Lɪzzy says:
oh wow
tony. says:
i’m not
tony. says:

Lɪzzy says:
do you have a supervisor?
tony. says:
wow this isn’t a job!
tony. says:
driving is a prilivedge
tony. says:
not a right
tony. says:
!
Lɪzzy says:
i thought you was a special case
Lɪzzy says:
and they needed to be careful
tony. says:
wow
tony. says:
i’m not retarded D:
Lɪzzy says:
what? O__O
tony. says:
“speical” case
Lɪzzy says:
how come i never knew this?
Lɪzzy says:
jk :C
Lɪzzy says:
i love tony
tony. says:
so mean
tony. says:
i don’t
Lɪzzy says:
he is not special!
Lɪzzy says:
he’s anything but special
Lɪzzy says:
omg
tony. says:
lol
tony. says:
okay
tony. says:
i think he’s gonna get mad soon
Lɪzzy says:
okee okee
Lɪzzy says:
run free, wild tony
tony. says:
really should get going @.@
tony. says:
oh yes i will~
Lɪzzy says:
bye bye! :C
tony. says:
good luck on your studying!
tony. says:
byes~

Nature Rangers

范嘉慧 — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 02:27:08 +0000

Hey. Hi. Yo.

-_-a

[Insert how her day was.]